The discontinuation of Hel part V: My Dear Sailor

What is it about sailors that's so romantic? I'm certainly not the first one to have written a song about one of them (check Suzanne Vega's Harbour Song). I once met a character, a true sailor at heart, (although he was actually a Captain) who didn't have a home when he was not on duty, or maybe I should say the whole world was his home, and so he travelled tirelessly, while working or on holiday. He's the one who inspired this song.

I was wondering how many other stories How many other names with mine sharing the same pocket Worn out jeans carrying intact dreams of mileage So, how many spins already to your kiss counter I’m not claiming anything, you charming prince of fools I’m aware I never asked you to take me with you I will have to name some of these socks My pair of lucky ones I may have to stab my neighbour’s tyres Make sure that I can’t come back My fears distract from ahead towards my past Dreams that fade like the heat on the mattress But others stay, they won’t go away until You’ve paid for them There’s this tax for even imagining And then the price when you store them back into the closet ‘Cause every disappointment shortens your lifetime And with every hesitation your soul waters down I will have to name some of these socks My pair of lucky ones I may have to stab my neighbour’s tyres Make sure that I can’t come back My fears distract from ahead towards my past Well, I can still tell the prow from the stern And I know salty water is not good for human thirst And about you, well, it’s a Marbled-sized world Maybe fortune will take us back to the same harbour Once more

The trip that we coincided on eventually ended for me (my first trip to China, around 2004), but not for him, of course. Once immersed in my regular life again, I often caught myself longing for something that, now I can only assume, was simply not being where I was at the time, a feeling that has always been with me. I envied my sailor's life, and the song just poured out of me onto the paper.

That disappointment that shortens your lifetime does not refer to failure, but to disappointment in yourself for not being brave enough to go and do what you've always wanted to do, for feeling stuck in a rut and not doing anything to help it. Hence the idea of messing things up and making your life so uncomfortable that leaving it behind won't look like such a bad idea. But there's really no need to go that far.

As I have grown older and tried new things, taken chances that felt like risks at the time, I have lost so many fears... We get attached to ours jobs, our lifestyles, our routines, our environments, even when we don't necessarily enjoy them very much, the only thought of losing any of that is terrifying, and if asked why, we don't even know what to answer. We're just used to fearing change, fearing any degree of instability. I find that a very unnatural way to live. So, I took to the sea...

There are always hardships to go through, regardless if you are travelling the world of if you have lived the exact same life for 30 years, shit happens anyway. If the sea calls you, just give it a go. It probably won't kill you.